OTC: Royals Lose Opener And 810’s KK & TJ Go Chicken Little On Entire Season

“It was like watching Sporting! I don’t mean to be mean but they can’t score!”
Kevin Kietzman, immediately following the Royals’ opening day 1-0 loss in Chicago, 810 AM
GH: Kietzman went off about the Royals’ loss like they had just gone 0-forApril. It was comical to listen to the height of hysteria he attempted to create around the Royals losing their first game of the season. Read on.

“Do you have any faith that they can beat good pitching at any point?”
Kevin Kietzman, to Danny Clinkscale, 810 AM
GH: Clink responded like a battered wife by whimpering, “Not yet…” KK then went into his peacock mode when he told us how right he had been about the Royals’ spring-training wins and impressive offensive numbers would all fade once the season started. He laid out maybe my favorite KK quote of the year – and it’s only April…

“I am on a ridiculous professional role! I’m gonna tell you – this [Royals] team is not going to hit this year!”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: For some reason KK thinks he has been the Nostradamus of KC sports talk radio of late. I fail to understand why.  He has spent three months screaming into his microphone that the Chiefs should draft Geno Smith with their first pick. He told us no one was going to beat Kansas in the NCAA tourney. He told K-State fans there was no way the Wildcats would share the Big 12 conference title with KU. In November he said Frank Haith’s team was better this year than last year. At least Kietz got the “ridiculous” part right.

“It’s frustrating! It’s not frustrating that they lost – it’s frustrating how they lost!”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: Carpenter’s show followed KK’s which followed the news of the Royals’ loss. TJ picked up where KK left off by basically taking Kietzman’s all-is-lost attitude about the Royals losing to the White Sox to a whole ‘nother level. Read on.

“This is the same problem they are going to continue to have. Offensively they can’t hit with runners in scoring position. You can’t win any games!”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: So now the Royals are going winless in 2013?

“[Billy Butler] just swings away at everything!”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: So Butler went from our All-Star and best hitter to Frenchy in just one game?

“Mike Moustakas should have been responsible for at least four runs!”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: It was 40 degrees with a north wind blowing off Lake Michigan that would chill a penguin.  Chris Sale, one of the best young lefties in the AL, was twirling a gem on the mound. So Moose should have had at least four ribbies? The game ain’t that easy, Carp.

“It’s nine innings! You and Kietzman before you sound like…”
Caller to Carpenter’s Royals’ postgame show, complaining about the overreaction from KK and Carp on the Royals’ opening-day loss, 810 AM
GH: TJ cut this dude off and ended his phone call instead of engaging him in a meaningful debate. Few things in talk radio are more upsetting to me than a host who refuses to invite and engage in differing opinions than their own. For all of his talent and experience, Kevin Kietzman has never learned the art of how to deal on the air with those who call his bluff. It is sad to think that weakness has been passed on to the new guy.

“The expectation level has been set. Once you have one, you can’t go back and say, ‘Hey, it’s just one game!’ To say that’s it’s just one game is a baseball cliché that I think baseball fans fall back on far too often.”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: After the caller attempted to take Carp to task for being such a downer after one nine-inning game, TJ went into untra-defensive mode. Read on.

“Those one games pile up big time! 13 games from now – if they’ve dug themselves a huge hole – it’s not just one game anymore, is it?”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM

“It’s just one game. It’s just one game. That’s going to be everybody’s mantra. Look for patterns. You are what you’re record says you are and they’re winless.”
TJ Carpenter, 810 AM
GH: Rereading these quotes is humorous. He really came off as thinking all is lost one game into a 162-game season. Dial it back, Carp. You might want to pace yourself if you’re going to be around this Royals’ franchise for any length of time.

“I’m a long ways from coming out yay or nay [on the Wil Myers’ trade].”
Josh Vernier, 610 AM
GH: The hysteria was not left to only the guys on 810. Vernier, who is replacing Robert Ford on 610’s Royals postgame show, also was making some crazy statements. Glad he’s not ready to call the Myers’ trade a bust since Myers has yet to play in a big league game.

“It’s a nice start but I just have a sneaky suspicion that people are going to remember that 5-3 ground out to end the game.”
Josh Vernier, on the much-maligned Jeff Francoeur going 2-4 in the opener, 610 AM
GH: Frenchy just can’t win. I guess he and Moose should have both had 4 RBI and pitched the ninth.

“I think we’re going to be just fine.”
George Brett, in an interview Tuesday morning with Bob Fescoe, 610 AM
GH: It’s April 2nd. I’ll go with #5 for now.

“So, OK. The Royals lost their season opener here, 1-0, because the White Sox had the better pitcher on Monday. … But, man. A year ago, Bruce Chen started the season opener. Then it was Luke Hochevar and Jonathan Sanchez. This year, Shields is followed by Ervin Santana and Jeremy Guthrie. Big difference, and we saw the first of it Monday when Shields gave up just one run in six innings.”
Sam Mellinger, Kansas City Star
GH: Big Game James was superb. Frenchy got two hits. The Royals had eight hits off a very good lefty. And the game went down to the last pitch in the ninth. That ain’t a reason to jump off of the Bond Bridge. But if KK is contemplating that dive…

“Solving a Royals team that beat them 12 of 18 times in 2012 is the first step for a Sox team trying to earn respect after finishing three games out of first place in the American League Central last season.”
Mark Gonzales, writer, Chicago Tribune
GH: The Royals handed Chris Sale three of his eight losses last season. So maybe beating the White Sox isn’t the key to the 2013 pennant.

“Fast ball, strike!”
Denny Matthews, calling Lorenzo Cain’s final at bat in the ninth, Royals Radio
GH: I listened to the final half inning of the Royals’ loss in Chicago on my Monday night commute home from the office. The score was 1-0 and Hosmer had reached base with the tying run. I love Denny Matthews’ voice. More so probably because I have listened to him call Royals’ games since 1969. But he can be maddeningly lazy with his play-by-play calls. Did Cain swing and miss? Was the pitch inside at the knees? Out on the black at the letters? “Fast ball, strike,” just doesn’t tell me enough when I am trying to recreate the game in my mind through Denny’s radio call. I don’t need every detail with every pitch – but I do in the ninth of a 1-0 game. Pick up your game, Denny. We deserve more even if you aren’t that interested anymore.

“The paint they use is the greenest in the industry.”
Frank Boal, in a radio commercial, 810 AM
GH: This radio commercial made me think, “What did Frank say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen the movie.”
Nate Bukaty, after Kevin Harlan made a reference to the 2003 movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, 810 AM
GH: Not only did I think everyone over the age of 12 has seen POTC, but most also likely own the DVD. Nate continues to amaze us with his zest for the inside of a production truck.

[email protected] and Twitter / gregahll24

About Greg Hall

Software guy who has been writing my Off The Couch column in KC newspapers, publications and websites since 1994. Has been bounced from some of the finest media establishments this side of State Line Road. Dad first and everything else second...and there are a lot of everything elses.
This entry was posted in Greg Hall OTC and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to OTC: Royals Lose Opener And 810’s KK & TJ Go Chicken Little On Entire Season

  1. Joe says:

    Everyone – do yourself a favor – let GH do the KK listening for you. You will be a much happier person, trust me. JH

    • bs says:

      we have a winner. i love to know the nutso position that he has staked out, but hate the pain of actually having to listen to it.

      wonder what he is saying after this pro-football weekly scouting report kills Geno Smith.

  2. The Smartman says:

    The only way the Royals cold suck more was if the owner was named Mike Dyson. That being said it usually takes until Memorial Day for teams to develop some character and mojo that you can honestly evaluate. Did we all go into a panic the first time our kids sat on the potty and took a dump? Hell no! Proud moment! Gotta keep shit in the proper perspective.

  3. MightyMo says:

    I don’t need KK to convince me the Royals will suck. With the Royals, there is so much centriFUCKal force in favor of losing that whole sections of The K have been known to fly off into space.

  4. geo says:

    Add me to the list of those over 12 who have never seen Pirates of the Caribbean.

  5. Bill says:

    Don’t forget last week when KK said Hoch would have a career renaissance in the bullpen after blowing away three batters who will start the season in A ball.

  6. David Covington says:

    Just one game….just one game…just one game….yeah, we heard that the first month last season as the Royals built a 13-game losing steak before George Brett’s Birthday. Color me skeptical, Greg…

  7. Splitlog Quindaro says:

    the first baseball game is important

  8. I’m 33 and have never seen any of the POTC movies. I like movies, but I don’t often go out and see the big blockbusters…I prefer documentaries anyway.

  9. Larry Mondello says:

    Call me what you will, but I have never seen any of the POTC movies. I have no desire to watch a pirate fantasy film. I haven’t watched any of the 5,000 super hero films either. I seriously doubt that I have missed anything of cultural value.

    • tibor says:

      I find films based on Disney Land ride to be more vapid than those based on bad TV sitcoms.

Comments are closed.